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Stocking the stockings

Monday, 2 September 2013  |  Caressa
Stocking the Stockings

Jilly Norman, lingerie blogger and underwear style queen, writes this exclusively for Caressa:

Gabriella StockingsI know that none of you reading this from England will have probably thought about hosiery in the last few weeks in this glorious summer we‘ve been having. Although, having said that, I have seen the odd woman in London sporting full-on black tights.


I want to run up to them and ask them if 32 degrees is not nearly enough for them to leave the tights at home. I want to ask them if, perhaps, they are forced to wring them out at night. I want to ask them what on Earth has possessed them and are they also wearing thermal underwear as well, because clearly their heat gauges are seriously awry.

One of my great loves is hosiery, but even I have erred on the side of cauldron of late and aside, of the occasional donning of black hold ups for, ahem, other reasons, unconnected to the temperature of the day, I cannot go near the tights drawer without coming out in hives.

Like the central heating in my home, I am hoping against hope that the tights don’t need to be on until late September/early October.

BUT-just because my hosiery is estivating (the opposite of hibernating), it doesn’t mean my hosiery plans should also be put on hold.

Oh yes-I am the kind of woman who has hosiery plans, Stocking Schedules and Tights Timetables. Well, let me explain what I mean with an analogy of School Uniform.

Have you ever been to M+S or The School Uniform shop a few days before the start of the school Roza stockingsyear to be met with complete and utter carnage? Clothes strewn everywhere, hot and flustered parents and children everywhere?

Perhaps you have. I prefer, however, to get all such shopping done in first two weeks of the Summer Holidays simply to avoid such a situation and the same is true of hosiery.

I know come the Autumn, that my legs will be reborn and re-adorned in colour, pattern and material and I shall sally fashionably forth , a Denier denier no more.

But, in order for this to happen, without an undignified and un-feminine October scrabbling, I need to dispense accordingly with all the worn, old, holey and out of date hosiery. I’d love to be able to say to you that they are, of course, all recycled into artfully crafted children's hand puppets and bird feeders etc., etc., but they are unceremoniously binned.

Out with the old and in with the new girls. Now is the time for your tights audit and look for your brand new Autumn/Winter collection so that your pins are sharp and you are not caught out come the Autumn hosiery rush.

 Jilly Norman's regular blog can be found at an on twitter @jillysfrillies